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Tuesday, December 12
It's been fun

I'll always remember when we met.

But it's time to say goodbye.  It's not final.  I'll keep you around and pop my head in from time to time to relive some great memories.

But we both could see this coming.  It's not me.  It's you.  Everyone leaves you and I can't change that.  I don't want to.  You would have to change a heck of a lot for me to stay and I'm not the first to say that.

Don't act like that.  Don't pout or give me those lines.

I've fallen for someone else.

Vox does it better.

Posted at 9:38 am by the monkey
(3) SHOCKED THE MONKEY  

Wednesday, December 6
Observations

More things that make me go crazy:

People wearing scarfs that hang down to their ankles.  I can understand a little length to tuck into coats on really cold days... but down to the ankles?  And then walking around with it whipping all over??

Tags on items that make you want to not be a part of the human race because of the obvious stupidity on somebody's part.  Like my new bath sponge.  It's a really awesome penguin mesh sponge.  Cute as a frakkin' button.  The tag on it?  Says, and I quote:
(after flipping it over "See reverse for care instructions")
"Hand wash
Do not bleach
Line dry
Do not iron"
Uhm.  DUH.  Really, it's a bath sponge.  Mesh.  Plastic.  Bath.  Sponge.  But nothing compares to the "first remove baby" tag on a folding stroller.  And you know, you know, that somebody somewhere folded their baby into the stroller and that is why that tag is there.  It's the same reason why McDonald's now has that "Caution: Contents may be hot" on their cups now, even though odds are very high that the contents are not so hot.  And the same reason that "do not iron" is on my bath sponge.  I'd love to see the amoeba who ironed their bath sponge.

Posted at 8:03 pm by the monkey
(15) SHOCKED THE MONKEY  

Sunday, December 3
The end is in sight

I.

Love.

Heroes.

So what am I going to do after tomorrow night when I have a month or so of Hero withdrawals??  Absolutely nothing compared to what I'm going to do when the season truly ends in the spring.

Posted at 6:45 pm by the monkey
(5) SHOCKED THE MONKEY  

Friday, November 24
The Fountain

I've been expecting this movie for over a year.  I've tried not to read too much though, as my first impression was almost lust to see it.  I've tried hard not to drool too much over the pictures and interviews.  Did you know Brad Pitt was originally suppose to be Hugh Jackman's character?  That this movie was a huge labor of love?  It shows.  It was absolutely amazing in the artistic sense.  An almost overload of visual... visions. 

It's not going to do well in the box office.  I know this.  I knew from the first I heard of it that it was going to be a "me" movie.  You know, the movie you know was made for you and you only?  Or so you would like to think.  Anyways... I knew it would that kind of movie.  Although I have to say that as I walked out of the theater dry-eyed (amazingly enough both of my companions weeped like children and yet, while PPMSing, nary a tear I shed) I also knew I wouldn't add it to my collection.  Don't get me wrong... everyone should see this movie.  Well, anyone with at least half a brain.  But I know even out of all those people, only a handful will really get it.  Hey, I have been reading reviews.  It doesn't help that the media has been touting it as a sci-fi when I would classify it more as a spiritual drama. 

Anyways.  Funny thing happened during the film, somewhat near the end and perhaps explains why it won't do well with the general public.  An older couple was sitting behind us and making little comments during the film.  It wasn't too bad or too distracting until a pivotal moment in the film where Hugh is having an emotional breakdown while self-administering a tattoo.  Before I could get into the scene and empathize my way into my own silent sobbing, I hear "He's going to get herpes." stated so matter of fact and dead pan (although it was dead pan because she meant it) by the older woman.  I couldn't help but chuckle.  Mind you, onscreen Hugh is cutting his skin in the midst of a complete meltdown and here I am giggling like a little school girl.  Totally inappropriate.  I know.  But how else do you respond when you hear oh so faintly from behind you that a person is going to get herpes from a homemade tattoo?  It wrecked any empathy I had been building towards the character and I suppose I should thank the old lady for keeping me from losing my own grip and empathizing too much in a fictional character.  I admit it.  Heck, one of only two times I have sobbed so hard my chest hurt was at the end of the new King Kong movie.  KING MUTHAFING KONG.  Talk about empathizing a bit too much.  Me.  Big hairy ape.  I'm sure we have a ton in common.

Anyways.  Go see the movie.  Be disappointed because you don't get it.  You don't need to.  It's like staring at an abstract painting.  Perhaps we aren't supposed to "get it".  Perhaps we aren't supposed to find the artist's meaning or soul.  Perhaps instead we are meant to find our own.

Posted at 9:56 pm by the monkey
(1) SHOCKED THE MONKEY  

Friday, November 17
Where have I been?

Where?  Same place I have been.  I would apologize for the lack of communication if I felt the need to.  We are in the new place and everyone is thrilled about it.  It took less than a day for the animals to adapt (or so it seemed) although I hope we don't get new neighbors until we've retrained the dog to do his business on the new side of the yard.  It doesn't help that he was able to run all around both sides for the last two months.

In other news, there is a hell of a lot of family drama going on right now and the timing sucks as we head into the holidays.  Who knows when I'll post again.

Posted at 12:30 pm by the monkey
SHOCK THE MONKEY  

Thursday, October 19
My dog Dumb

Remember my post about the cats and their escape attempt through the screen?  Thumper had fixed it a couple days after that and we didn't give it another thought.

Till last night.

As Thumper was starting to head over and open the screen door to let the dog in to the house, Rolo walked through it.  Not as in (read in a Forrest Gump or Al Gore voice) "I'm a-running to the doorah and I can't stop in timeh."

No.  He walked through it as if it wasn't there, shredding the screen and taking the entire door off the track and into the room a good foot and a half.  Completely oblivious to the destruction left in his wake.

If this had been the only incident, I would have chalked it up to "bad dog" behavior and chastised him.  But roughly a week ago Thumper was going to let him out and before he could get to the door, Rolo tried to run through it.

The glass door.

The dirty glass door.  (thanks to some rain and a cat who will lick anything, including windows, doors, mirrors and feet)

Again, I might chalk it all up to bad eyesight... but there are other stories for other days.

Did I mention he's a big ass Rott looking dog?  Dumb as a nail sometimes... but he's got a heart of gold.

Posted at 9:23 am by the monkey
(2) SHOCKED THE MONKEY  

Thursday, October 12
The end

There is no denying it now.  32 degrees outside and snow.  SNOW.  I am so not ready for winter.  I want to cry.  Where did my summer go?

Posted at 8:56 am by the monkey
(6) SHOCKED THE MONKEY  

Wednesday, October 4
An astute observation, albeit a bit tardy

I didn't catch this til just a little bit ago...

Crazy went to Dee (landlord) to ask permission to park in our driveway (and learned it is our driveway - I'm still giddy on that one) but she never came over to ask us for permission.  Gee.

She parks in the bottom of our (current) driveway when we first move in and never bothers to check if we're okay with it or if she's in the way of us moving.  Hmm.

Verrry interrresting.  Think she hates us?

I refuse to put up with her sheet.

Posted at 8:40 pm by the monkey
SHOCK THE MONKEY  

Real time stupidity

So...

I'm going to post this in real time, just for your reading pleasure.

6:00 pm:
Crazy comes home from wherever she was coming from.  I had parked my friend's car where she would normally park because there is no room in our driveway, but I parked the way you should.  Parallel.  Whore comes home and parks parallel too.  Right next to my friend's car.  I have pictures that I'll post later to show you what exactly that looked like.  To me, it looks like some stress relief and a phone call to the police.  :)

6:17 pm:
The police have been called and they will be here "shortly".

6:34 pm:
It looks as if the parking enforcement is here... but we're on stealth mode.  More to come.

6:37 pm:
She's arguing with the parking official...

6:46 pm:
Parking official just drove away and whore has just moved her car.  We sit in anticipation.  Did she get a ticket?  She spent a long time talking to the parking lady.  She did move her car.  Will she know that we called the cops?  Will she take her stress out on my friend's car?  stay tuned for developments as they unfold...

7:09 pm:
After talking to the people whose house she parked in front of and then talking to our new landlord (to see if she could use the empty driveway next to us) she has gone back into her batcave.  My friend's car is untouched and I suspect that it will be left untouched.  If any vehicle is touched, I think it will be the beast or Thumper's truck.  Who's to say if anything will be done.  Unfortunately our new landlord let it slip that she is our new landlord.  It ruins the surprise I talked about in another post.  Bummer.  Fortunately I'm sure it made the whore livid to realize that we not only have our half of the driveway now, we have the whole driveway.  At least for a month.  Ha.

7:15 pm:
Whore takes little offspring to go only she knows where.  The whole entire time she's walking to the car (oooooo, across the culdesac, what a walk!!) she's staring down our side of the house.  If looks could kill our garden would be pushing up daisies.  Hee.  Hee.  Hee.

Posted at 6:26 pm by the monkey
(1) SHOCKED THE MONKEY  

Tuesday, October 3
The Waiting Game

No insurance = no more x-rays (for now)

No insurance = no battery of tests (for now)

No x-rays + no tests = no answers

No answers = living with pain till insurance or lottery is won

We wait.

Posted at 11:30 am by the monkey
(1) SHOCKED THE MONKEY  

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